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Archived entries for Scandalous

The internet: fulfilling your niche visual jokes, one blog at a time

It’s a blog. Called LAZERTITS. What more do you want from me?

“For centuries the female bosom has been wrongfully held in the prison of maternal duty and manboy motor-boating. The time has come to blow the cell doors open for breasts! Howl for hooters! Get toasted by tits! Behold the blazing boobs! It’s time to get ZAPPED!!!! LAZERTITS looks into the past and changes the future one broad at a time. What will YOU say when your kids ask where you were during the revolution? Don’t burn your bra, BLAST IT!!!”

It’s making you depressed that lazertits don’t exist in real life, isn’t it? Me too, buddy. Me too.

Conceptual Outfits No Longer Just for Humans

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It’s a well documented fact that my two favorite things are: 1) cute doggies 2) Lady Gaga. Thus: dogs dressed as Lady Gaga. Sure, why not. I’m waiting for them to wrap some diet coke cans around the ears of a cocker spaniel because then it’d be a combination of third favorite thing (diet cola), but that’d probably be all kinds of cruel.

Meet: THE DOGGIE GAGA PROJECT. You’re welcome…?

No, Puddles! NOOO! and other thoughts from the Kings County Biennial

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So, last weekend I did that hilarious thing at a gallery opening.  You know, where first you confuse a piece trash for a sculpture, and then confuse an actual sculpture with a piece of trash.  Ha ha ha ha ho ohmyGOD contemporary art, I LOVE IT when you painfully confirm all those things my mom says about you.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one confused.  Moments later the crowd ceremoniously parted, giving me a perfect view of a little dog lifting its leg and pissing on the above sculpture. Not kidding.  I’m very, very sorry to say I don’t know whose piece it is, or what the title was– but gentle jury, please know that I tried to stop it.  Cue the slow-motion outreach and open-mouthed horror: “NOOOoooo…….!”

Wow.

But don’t take that one (doggy) critic’s opinion: Kidd Yellin’s “The Kings County Biennial” is an uneven but sprawling and fun show featuring some top-notch mid-career artists’ work, and it runs through Feb 28. A few pics after the jump.

Continue reading…

Objectophilia

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How great are these? The above image, entitled Koons Balloon Mould, is just one of the members of The MacGuffin Library, an enchanting collection of rapid-prototyped, black, polymer-resin objects by Noam Toran. The name MacGuffin is actually a term (attributed to Hitchcock) that references an object used as a plot device to keep the story in motion, despite lacking importance in the overall plot. Toran’s focus on objects in film culture has led him to create this wonderful homage to great MacGuffins of the past. These objects were created for a series of sixteen, fictional film synopsis’ written by Toran and though they lack film accompaniment, they hold their own., straddling the line between sculpture, product and prop.

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America

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Bad Engineers

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Betacam Tape

Toran’s films often focus on the relationships between cinema, mass-culture and design. Below are some original objects created for his film series Desire Management. The film attempts to demonstrate how domesticated objects can be used for dissident behavior. This film is currently on show at the MoMA as part of their Rough Cut: Design Takes a Sharp Edge exhibit.

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A baseball fetish bed, for the home, complete with astroturf mattress and baseball diamond pillow.

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Simply referred to as the “vacuum scanner,” your guess is as good as mine.

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An in-flight serving tray complete with turbulence simulator, sure to satisfy even the most discriminating of flight attendant tastes.
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MoMA ads illegally improved with help of their creator

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I don’t know if it’s all the carbohydrates I just ingested or the fact that I’ve been listening to Graeme Sinden all afternoon, but this story makes me all amped and is just about the most awesome thing I’ve heard this month (emphasis added):

On February 10, the Museum of Modern Art launched one of its most extensive and expensive advertising campaigns in history when it reproduced 57 works from its permanent collection and plastered the images around Brooklyn’s Atlantic-Pacific subway station. Then, this past Saturday night around 2 a.m., the installation was ambushed by two men. One was Poster Boy, or at least someone from his collective, a member of which was arrested earlier this month on criminal-mischief and misdemeanor charges. His accomplice was a less likely culprit: Doug Jaeger, the marketing executive who created the campaign for MoMA. …

…Wearing official MoMA jackets, the two convinced the MTA guards and station police that they were there on official business. Poster Boy and his crew then proceeded to mash up the reproductions in traditional PB-style, meaning Andy Warhol’s Marilyn was made to look as though she had a nose job, and a cutout of a race car was positioned to dive into another painting. When they were done, Jaeger staged a fashion shoot in front of Poster Boy’s reworked creations, using hired models and a professional photographer…

That’s right.  Not only did they bust in there to remix the ads, but they used the opportunity to do a fashion shoot.  In front of MTA guards.  Respect!

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Link

I think I see the light

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Things I wish I’d thought of: Jesus Lamp by Mexican designer & architect Ricardo Garza Marcos

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Eco-Chic Lingerie

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Since I just moved, I haven’t had a lot of time to spend on discovering blog-worthy designs. I have however, been spending a lot of time in my closet discovering things I forgot I owned, and so I can present to you: “Eco-Chic Lingerie” by Koni-Art USA. Don’t be fooled by the name, these hand-knitted gems come from Koniakow, Poland. Famed for their lace products for hundreds of years, the same grannies of Koniakow who knitted these panties have also knitted for the likes of: The Vatican, The Polish Parliament, and Queen Elizabeth herself. As if all natural, home-brewed, Polish lingerie weren’t enough, Koni-Art panties also come with a “110% softest-thong” guarantee. I’m not going to comment, you’re just going to have to get your own. According to custom, Koni-Art only uses models from the village of Koniakow itself; a custom proving that Poland is home to the hottest farm girls on the planet.

get your own here



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