Today, in Crap Shaped Like Aliens

Eventually a person gets to the age where they’ve moved out of their terrible first apartment to become an adult, and the start of this phase is signified by them buying frou-frou non-essentials like rugs, and after that they stop buying so much melamine for their health because did you see what happened to those babies in China? And the final step is to replace those goddamn brown leatherette folding chairs they’ve been eating on since age 19.  And when this happens for me (one day!) I really really hope I am flush enough to go to a lowercase-titled place like imm cologne and get one or six of these badass pressed aluminum chairs.  Look at it!

I could give or take the fact that it’s really light – I mean, less environmental waste etc. etc. I guess – but freaking look at what this thing is shaped like before it gets bent:

Which, AM I WRONG HERE?? :

Mercy!